Isnt it showmantic!!!

On the ''Big Brother: All-Stars'' season finale, the jury decides that Mike Boogie played Erika better than she played him.

by Lynette Rice

Well, that certainly wasn't the finale I was expecting.

 Is There a Doctor Out of the House?

Janelle Pierzina is the freakin' bomb and is just one week away from winning the cash prize she deserves.

Now, to any reader among us who is not enlightened enough to ride the happy train to Janie-town: I suggest you get off at the next stop and bid this summer's all-star edition goodbye. You never did appreciate Janie's brilliance when you polluted our message boards and were too stubborn to even consider what Janelle had that everyone else didn't: the courage to look stupid, act like a bimbo, and continue to chow down with reckless abandon even though the house (and the world) was calling her fat. And yet she still played the game with gusto and aplomb. Even Will couldn't muster a negative word about Janelle in his otherwise brilliant exit speech — other than to say she'll regret her decision later. Yes, she probably will regret it — regret that she didn't shout, ''Got you, you smug little twit!'' when he walked out the door.

Double Cross

from ew.com 

In a special two-eviction episode of ''Big Brother: All-Stars,'' the Chill Town guys use their in-house girlfriends to eliminate their former allies Danielle and George by Lynette Rice

Being the impatient viewer that I am, I'm grateful when BB speeds things up and evicts two houseguests during an episode, but I sense that the Chen 3000 doesn't share in my joy. These last-minute programming changes seem to confuse the android, who absentmindedly asked Erika if she had anything to say to the houseguests before exercising the power of veto (uh, that would be a no) and allowing a painful amount of dead air to pass when HOH Janelle replaced Erika with Mike. Perhaps the Chen 3000 was genuinely out of sorts, having suffered a frequency overload upon delivering this rare zinger to Danielle on the couch outside the house: ''You lost to a guy in a green leotard.'' Kapow!

Talk about a sucker punch. Danielle thought her secret alliance with Erika would save her from eviction this week, while Erika cared only about her secret alliance with Boogie. Her decision to nominate Danielle had less to do with strategy than with her desperate need to be loved by a colossal tool like Mike. I have no inside information on where that relationship is headed, but I'm not looking forward to that moment in BB8 when the producers go back to check on past HGs, only to find Erika in her one-bedroom West Hollywood apartment lamenting about how another reality-show nose picker left her for dead. If I had to settle for a floater in the final four, I would have preferred George to Erika — if only because he had sense enough to admit openly that Chill Town was playing them for fools. Besides, there should be a law against women like Erika who are so freakin' disciplined about their diet. Cheetos and ice cream won't kill you, Erika. Just look at me.

Backdoored Man


Marcellas, the latest ''Big Brother'' evictee, talks to Jessica Shaw about Janelle's betrayal, the perils of being the gay sidekick, and who's the house's hottest guy

It's gotta hurt when your secret alliance member puts you up for eviction, promises you won't go home, and then can't deliver on your safety. Such was the fate of Marcellas Reynolds, the bald bombshell, who got unanimously voted out of the Big Brother: All-Stars house this week. We couldn't talk too much about house intrigue since he's sequestered and CBS won't let us tell him anything about anything, but we did get to catch up on why he's at peace with Danielle and why James is hotter than Will.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Marcellas, clearly there were things going on that you didn't know about because Janelle told you you'd be safe. What do you think happened?
MARCELLAS REYNOLDS: Girl, there had to be more secret alliances than you could shake a stick at.

Second Wind
''Big Brother'': It's a do-over! After technical difficulties on last night's telecast, a new HOH competition yielded interesting results by Lynette Rice

I actually started writing this column the minute Tuesday's episode was over, mostly because I knew that Kaysar's ouster was a fait accompli and that Janelle wouldn't be able to convince enough floaters that James was playing both sides. Too bad — not because I thought Kay-Kay deserved to stick around (his dour intensity was matched only by his inability to say or do anything even remotely interesting), but James was such an idiot for bidding for prizes during that veto competition that he deserved to be back-doored. What a duplicitous, indignant boob he's turned out to be. Didn't he learn anything last season by putting Sarah and himself at risk that when he attempted to play both sides? All I can say is, poor Danielle. Will was right to point out how harsh it was that the house's only mom was stuck in solitary confinement (not that I didn't enjoy watching her eat crow. Girlfriend gets awfully cocky when you give her a little power). Still, she deserved better from her partner-in-crime, James. As the shrewdest female player in BB history, Danielle came into this house with a pretty significant target on her head and a bitter enemy in Marcellas. And though she suffered a tremendous brain fart during the first week, she made a necessary course correction, kept her mouth shut, and look how far she's come! Of course I attribute her staying power to her secret alliance with James and Chill Town (yes, I learned that by watching the feeds. No, I don't always acknowledge them because this is about the TV show. So ease up on the smack talk, will ya, folks?). But Danielle is still smart enough to stand on her own. Gotta hand it to home girl for not giving into pressure Tuesday to nominate Marcellas when she knew that picking a Sixer was the wiser way to go (but I also gotta hand it to Chill Town for shrewdly positioning Marcellas as the greedy new owner of $5,000 and a plasma TV. Can Will get any better at playing this game?). But that's ancient history now, especially since we have a more pressing issue to address: the next HOH. No, it is not boring Erica (cue Hallelujah chorus). For anyone who doesn't have the privilege of an internet feed (or the patience to pull a late nighter while waiting for a damn answer), you didn't learn from last night's episode that BB opted for a do-over on the HOH competition because Howie couldn't push his button. Now I'm sure there wasn't a soul in the BB universe who thought Big Boy was robbed of a much-deserved win (it's not like he's normally a lightning-fast thinker). They just thought he faced some unfair technical difficulties so a new competition was deemed necessary. All I can say is, hell yeah! [SPOILER ALERT! Stop reading if you don�t want to know the results.] The contest finally commenced around 11 p.m. PT with the HGs using those silly wheel thingies instead of the unpredictable buzzers. And though the questions were far less interesting than the first time around, the results were much more enjoyable (and well deserved). Janelle won again! Now my first thought was how James was probably thinking to himself, ''Man that fat beeyotch is gonna come after me now. Probably shouldn't have bid for those prizes this week.'' Then my second thought was how that skinny tool deserved to be the next to go because he bid for those prizes this week. And my third thought? What a lovely time it must be for Will and Boogie. A win for Janelle means another free week in the house — though those guys would be wise to stop relying on Will's uncanny ability to schmooze the women and start actually competing for a change. Seriously, has Will managed to go beyond the first round of any of the competition? But that's a problem for later. I do hope Janelle goes with her gut and nominates James; if there's anything he's done this week, it's proven how much he lies. But my fear is that James and Chill Town will convince her to pick Marcellas, who I don't believe deserves to hit the road when far more useless players remain intact (hello, Chicken George? Erica? Chicken George? Erica?). So what do you think? Do you like the sound of the coup d'etat twist? Were you disappointed to see Kaysar go? Did CBS do right by Howie by staging that do-over? Will Janelle put her Sixer alliance in jeopardizing by targeting James?