and baby.

The position of parent and baby during a diaper change is perfect for creating a bonding experience between you. You are leaning over your baby, and your face is at the perfect arms-length distance for engaging eye contact and communication. What's more, this golden opportunity presents itself many times during each day; no matter how busy you both get, you have a few moments of quiet connection. It's too valuable a ritual to treat it as simply maintenance.

Learning about your baby

Diapering offers a perfect opportunity for you to truly absorb your baby's cues and signals. You'll learn how his little body works, what tickles him, what causes those tiny goose bumps. As you lift, move, and touch your baby, your hands will learn the map of his body and what's normal for him. This is important because it will enable you to easily decipher any physical changes that need attention.

 

FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 08, 2006 06:40PM EST

people.com

Brad Pitt says that he and Angelina Jolie will get married – when all couples can legally wed.

"Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able," the actor tells Esquire magazine for its October issue.

Of course, the couple are already living in domestic bliss with their three children, Shiloh, who was born in May, Maddox, 5, and Zahara, 1.

Of the older two children, whom Jolie adopted and Pitt is in the process of legally adopting, the 42-year-old actor says the fact that they aren't his biological children doesn't set them apart from their sister, Shiloh.

"They're as much of my blood as any natural born, and I'm theirs," Pitt tells the magazine, which hits newsstands Sept. 19. "That's all I can say about it. I can't live without them. So: Anyone considering (adoption), that's my vote."

And Pitt says he's a pretty laid back dad.

"I try not to stifle them in any way," he says. "If it's not hurting anyone, I want them to be able to explore. Sometimes that means they're quite rambunctious."

Still, Pitt, whose next film is the drama Babel, says communication is the key with kids: "I feel it's really important to have that time to sit and talk to them," he continues. "I really like that last minute before they fade off. And always give them a heads-up before you jerk them out of something. You need to tell them, like, 'You have three more minutes.'"

September 05, 2006

TUESDAY, Sept. 5 (HealthDay News) -- The risk of developing autism is significantly higher among children born to men who are 40 and older than it is among children with fathers under 30, researchers report.

The reason appears to be genetic, researchers suggest.

Autism is a growing problem, affecting 50 children in every 10,000, compared with just five in 10,000 only 20 years ago. This increase appears to be partially due to more awareness of the condition and changes in the definition of classic autism to include autism spectrum disorders. However, it could also be that there is an increase in the incidence of autism, experts say.

The condition is marked by social and language problems and repetitive patterns of behavior. Autism spectrum disorder includes pervasive developmental disorder; Rett's syndrome, Asperger syndrome and childhood disintegrative disorder.

keepkidshealthy.com

 

Even parents who don't effectively use other parenting techniques, like time-out, using natural and logical consequences, distraction or extinction, likely know about reverse psychology.

Using this technique, to get your kids to finish their dinner, you might say something like:

"I bet you can't eat all of those peas in 30 seconds."

or when trying to get him to put away a toy, you might say:

"I'll put it away for you. You probably don't know how to fit it all back in the box anyway."

So you are essentially trying to get your child to do the exact opposite of what you really want him to do.

This should not be confused with trying to make chores fun. If you say 'let's see who can put more toys away in 5 minutes,' then that isn't reverse psychology, since you are actually telling him to do what you what him to do.

The Disadvantages of Time-Out by Aletha Solter, Ph.D.

As concerned parents and educators have become aware of the dangers of physical punishment, time-out has emerged as a popular disciplinary tool. Misbehaving children are told to sit quietly on a chair or go to their rooms to calm down and think about what they did. After a period of time, they are allowed to come back to the group or join the family, provided that they act "appropriately." The designated period of time is usually one minute per year of age, and children who leave the chair or room before their time is up are told to return for the full allotment once again. Some books recommend an added rule of silence, and suggest that the timing be repeated if the silence is broken. In either case, parents who use this method are promised quick and easy results. Time-out stems from the behaviorist movement based on the work of psychologist B.F. Skinner. His theory of operant conditioning asserts that children will behave in certain ways if they receive rewards for doing so ("positive reinforcement"), and that undesirable behavior can be diminished by withholding the rewards or by invoking pain (both of which are termed "punishment"). Skinner himself believed that all forms of punishment were unsuitable means of controlling children's behavior.1 Even so, while spanking is on the wane in the United States, the withholding of love and attention has persisted as an acceptable means of control.

TIME-OUT AS A DISCIPLINE TECHNIQUE Time-out is a discipline technique that involves placing children in a very boring place for several minutes following unacceptable behaviors. Time-out really means time out from any attention. Many parents have found time-out to be more effective in improving their children's behavior than hitting, yelling, and threatening. It has been shown to be effective in decreasing various problem behaviors (e.g., temper tantrums, not minding, hitting, etc.). Some parents say they have tried time-out before, and it did not work. In most cases, the reason it failed was because time-out was not used correctly. It is critical that the time-out procedure be followed exactly as stated. It can take only one slight change in the procedure to turn it from being very effective to being ineffective. Consistency in using the time-out procedure is critical. Parents should make sure that all other adults who discipline their children use the same technique.

Time-Out vs. Time-In! By Rachel Webb Have you ever put yourself in time-out? I have! Sometimes I want time-out from the house-work. Time-out from fighting kids. Time-out from laundry. My problem is that I often don't want to come out of "time-out". My room is peaceful and I can avoid all the negative that real life can bring with it. I like time-out and I don't care if I ever let myself out of my room for "Time-In". I'm sure I'm not the only mom out there who has felt like this, but what can we learn from it to become better parents? Using Time-out for bad behavior is hardly a new concept and every classroom I have ever been in has used it in some form or another. But as our childs "teachers" in life, we need to be reminded about the rules for a successful time-out. TIME-IN! Time Out will not be effective if you don't have time-in. Time-in is the "Good Stuff" a child likes. If a child has nothing to lose by going to time-out, and no incentive to be apart of Time-in, it won't work.

Reality Check: When Grandma's too Easy My parents often babysit for my daughter, but never follow my rules. How can I get them to stick to my routine?
By Denene Millner Q My parents often babysit for my daughter, but they put her to bed late, let her leave toys out, and do other things I never do. How can I get them to follow my rules? A When you rely on family for babysitting, getting them to understand why they should parent like you can be dicey — especially if the sitters in question once changed your diapers. They'll be quick to note the irony of your telling them what to do. To get everyone on board, you need to speak up, but you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar. When Mari was little, I'd "remind" my parents which (healthy) foods she liked to eat, and I'd give them an update on "all the great things" their granddaughter could do: scrape her plate after dinner, pick up her toys, take off her own clothes at bathtime, fall asleep on her own if tucked in by 8 p.m.�impressive signs of her physical advances and mental maturity that my parents couldn't wait to see for themselves.

The Debate over Spanking
by Dawn Ramsburg

Spanking is one of the most controversial discipline methods. On one side of the debate are parents who believe it is all right to spank their children. On the other side are those who think that children should never be spanked. Somewhere in the middle are parents who believe that spanking should only be used in particular instances (e.g., when the child runs into the street). Part of the reason for the debate is that parents and experts often define spanking differently. To some, spanking means "slapping a child on the buttocks" (Straus, 1995, p. 5), while others consider spanking a generic term for any corporal punishment that does not cause an injury, such as slapping a child's hand for touching something forbidden or dangerous. The purpose of this digest is to explore some of the reasons for spanking (using the general definition of any corporal punishment that does not cause an injury), to examine the effectiveness of spanking, and to suggest alternative discipline methods.

To Spank or Not to Spank? By Dr. William Sears
Q My husband believes in spanking, but I don't. How can we come to an agreement on how to discipline our kids? A I've practiced pediatrics for 35 years and raised eight children with my wife. I've seen lots of children grow up and through the years, I've become more and more convinced that spanking is not the best solution when it comes to child discipline. In my opinion, "sparing the rod" results in emotionally healthy and well-disciplined children. Increasing scientific evidence against spanking and anti-spanking opinions among child development researchers have prompted most European and Scandinavian countries to have laws against spanking. Even the United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child declared spanking a form of violence and is in favor of laws against physical punishment. Here, some information you can share with your husband that might encourage him to rethink his position on spanking: