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Punishment

Schooling? ›
boys2men
Posts: 15
 Joined: 2006-10-10
I'm stuck... I have a very stubborn 5 year old, I'm at my wits end. Today, it was 67 degrees outside, and being mid-December, I wanted him to take advantage of the weather. I sent him into the backyard to play with his brother (2.5 yrs.) I couldn't see them, but I could hear them. Pretty soon their voices faded and I looked out back and they weren't there. I went out front to find both of them playing nicely there. No big deal, right? The little one decided to come in and I talked to my 5 year old. I told him that I had a lot of things to do and I needed him to go back in the back yard where I knew he was safe. He reluctantly agreed. He headed for the backyard and I went back inside. That was the last I saw of him for an hour. I don't think he ever made it to the backyard. He quite often will go over to his friends house, usually with permission, so I never worry when he disappears. He comes home, we talk about why leaving without telling me is wrong and dangerous. He sat in timeout today, seemed rather sorry for leaving. So, when he asked me if he could ride his bike outside of our house, I said it was okay and we discussed the rules before he went out. He had to stay where I could see him, and he had to be able to hear me call and come right away. He agreed and all seemed well. He went outside, I never heard the garage door open, so I went to check... he had not gotten his bike out and was not out front. He was gone, this time for 2.5 hours. If my 2 year old had not been sleeping, I could have gone to look for him, but I was tied to the house. I tried calling his friends house, but they weren't even home. When he came in, he was trying to go to the garage to get his bike out and when I told him he couldn't go back out because he was in trouble, all hell broke loose in our house... that was just the beginning...
--

"The foundations of admirable character lie in a boy's realistic sense of himself as a human being. He will never be perfect, and he is what he is because others have given to him. With such knowledge comes the possibility of fulfillment, and of character that will continue to be strengthened by choosing to do right, and, after failure, to do better the next time.''
Dr. Eli Newberger


Submitted by boys2men on Tue, 2006-12-19 04:28. email this forum

boys2men
Posts: 15
 Joined: 2006-10-10
Here's what happened next: He called me stupid and hit me, then yelled that he hates me. He was told to sit on the stairs in time out until I could talk to him. He continued to yell at me as he ran for the door to go back outside. I told him that he needed to sit down or he was going up to his room, I started to count to 3. I got to 3 and he was still not sitting down, so I sent him to his room, as he got to the top of the stairs, he saw a vacuum there in the hallway and threatened to throw it down the stairs, luckily, all he did was knock it over. He slammed his door and I went to go calm down his brother who had been woken up by all of the screaming. I heard him come down the stairs, so I returned to make sure he wasn't trying to leave. He had opened a tube of toothpaste and some lotion and spread them all over the stairs. Obviously, timeouts weren't working today, so I took him in the other room, and very calmly, asked him to turn around, I pulled down his pants and he knew what was coming... As he pleaded with me not to spank him, I asked him what he thought was going to happen when he ruined the carpet on the stairs. I flat out asked him if he thought I was going to be happy about it or if he thought he was going to get in trouble... he said he thought he was going to get in trouble, I told him he was right and he got spanked. I was pretty calm as I did it and explained exactly what it was for, one swat for leaving his room during timeout, one for putting stuff on the carpet. He was then sent back up to his room. I went and got a screw driver, turned the lock around on his door and locked him in, all the time he is yelling at me and saying how much he hates me. He started throwing things from his room at the door and was kicking and hitting it, I came up after he had been quiet for a few minutes and complimented him on sitting quietly during those few minutes and told him he would be in there a little while longer because he had thrown things at the door. I told him I was adding 2 minutes on each time he hit the door. I closed the door and he did it one more time and I said, "I just added 2 more minutes, you're up to 12 minutes now" and that was all it took, no more throwing or hitting, he was quiet. The timer went off after the 12 minutes and he was asleep in his bed. Had he not been so tired, this fight would have gone on afternoon. So, here's my question... what do I do when timeouts and spankings don't work? What's next?
--

"The foundations of admirable character lie in a boy's realistic sense of himself as a human being. He will never be perfect, and he is what he is because others have given to him. With such knowledge comes the possibility of fulfillment, and of character that will continue to be strengthened by choosing to do right, and, after failure, to do better the next time.''
Dr. Eli Newberger


Tue, 2006-12-19 04:49 reply | email this comment

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