Many excited expectant parents waste thousands of dollars on baby items they don't need. Here's how to wise up early and find just the essentials for less.
By Liz Pulliam Weston
Before I tell you how to save bundles of money while preparing for a baby, I must make a confession.
We've spent more than we planned in the months leading up to the birth of our first child. Way more.
Part of our problem was that we succumbed to the "as long as we're at it" syndrome of home improvements. What started as a fairly straightforward project -- converting a spare bedroom into a nursery -- turned into a six-month-long around-the-house orgy of stripping wallpaper, repainting rooms, laying new carpet and refinishing hardwood floors.
The other part is that I wasn't quite as immune to the siren song of the $4-billion baby products industry as I'd anticipated. While I was able to avoid some of the more obvious excesses -- $800 crib bumpers, anyone? -- I (and my doting hubby) still probably bought too much stuff.
The good news is that we didn't go into debt for any of this, and we'll still be able to fund our baby's college savings plan. (The expense means we won't be flying to
The other good news is that my experience may help you avoid some stumbling blocks, although you're bound to discover new ones of your own.
In this column, by the way, I'll be dealing strictly with the shopping aspects of impending parenthood. Insurance, child care and diapers are all topics for future columns.
So here's the result of my research and hard-won experience on corralling the buying needed to get ready for a wee one.
Get a great guidebook
You'll need something fairly comprehensive that can tell you what you really do and don't need to prepare for the new arrival.
My sister-in-law gave me a copy of Denise and Alan Fields' terrific "Baby Bargains: Secrets to Saving 20% to 50% on Baby Furniture, Equipment, Clothes, Toys, Maternity Wear and Much, Much More!" Immensely readable, loaded with checklists and full of hard-nosed product reviews, this book quickly became my shopping bible -- and the first thing I bought for a couple of friends who got pregnant after I did.
Know what's optional
If you let the kindly women at the baby specialty stores guide you, you'll spend more getting ready for this child than you would on a brand-new sports car. Here are just a handful of things you might NOT need:
* A changing table. You can put a special tray on top of a dresser, or buy a dresser specifically outfitted for changing.
* Baby store furniture, other than cribs. We found the dressers especially to be of exceptionally poor quality, even at the high-end shops. For less than $400, we were able to buy and paint a well-made ash dresser from a nude-furniture store. You can find used stuff for even less at consignment and used-furniture stores. Just make sure, for safety's sake, that the drawers can't be pulled all the way out, bonking a curious toddler on the head.
* Diaper stackers. This is a bag to store diapers that hangs off a changing table. A plain willow basket tucked in a drawer can work just fine -- if you need anything at all.
* Coordinated linen or crib sets. Some of the pieces in these sets, such as pillows and quilts, can't be used with an infant. Others, like crib bumpers, are controversial among safety experts. (If you get them, make sure they tie at both top and bottom in several places.) If you must have coordinated sheets and dust ruffles -- and yes, ultimately, I did -- you usually can buy those separately for less.
* A car seat for each car. Most infant car seats come with detachable, adjustable bases. Just get one seat and a base for each car.
* Jogger strollers. We occasionally see these sporty-looking, three-wheeled all-terrain vehicles in our neighborhood -- usually pushed by dads ambling to the corner coffee bar. We know a lot more couples who parked theirs permanently in the garage. Some runners and hikers swear by them, but you've got time to decide to get one later, since you're generally not supposed to use them with kids less than a year old anyway.
Make a budget
Your numbers will necessarily be squishy for awhile, since you won't know exactly what you'll get in shower gifts and hand-me-downs. But between maternity clothes, strollers, car seats, clothes and nursery décor, the Fields estimate the average cost of baby preparation to be around $6,000 -- and that's not including hospital bills, day care or all the expenses that come later.
You can definitely spend less -- a lot less, with creativity and help from family and friends. But there will always be stuff you need to buy, and you should set aside enough money to cover the basics so you don't go into debt. Splurges make sense only when you've got the cash; otherwise, reduce the stress of your baby's arrival by not adding huge debt to your worries.
Accept donations
I knew I was in a foreign land when a baby store saleswoman cooed at me that of course, I'd want to get "all new" things for my first baby. She obviously didn't know I drive an 8-year-old car, recycle outfits from my husband's closet and take great pride in pointing out the furniture we didn't have to pay for because it was given to us by someone in the family. "All new," indeed.
Chances are your friends and relatives would be happy to load you up with their outgrown baby items and clothes if only you'd say the word. Once you get it in your house, you'll see why: This stuff eats up space like a Humvee on a one-lane road, and their houses are already jammed with the next generation of kid stuff.
So accept, sort, clean and pass along whatever you can't use (with the original donor's permission, of course). You'll make your friends and family happy, you'll save money and you'll put a little less pressure on our already overstressed environment.
Get maternal
Maternity clothes alone can be a budget-breaker. It's easy to spend $1,200 or more just looking presentable for the office. Even when you have a fairy godmother, as I did -- the world's most wonderful mother-in-law, who flew down to take me on a shopping spree -- you're still likely to supplement your wardrobe as your belly grows, the weather changes and you get sick, sick, sick of wearing the same black leggings every day.
Other mothers are great sources of recycled clothing, if any of them are between pregnancies. Also check out some of the big discounters, such as Target, for casual wear. I found some great business stuff at, of all places, J.C. Penney -- a store I hadn't shopped in since I was a little girl. The outfits were well made and professional enough that they passed muster on my CNBC appearances. Enough said.
You'll probably also need to get at least a couple pairs of new shoes (one set for the office, one for casual use) by your third trimester. Get slip-ons, so you don't amuse your husband too much trying to tie your shoes in the morning.
One of the open secrets of motherhood is that your feet grow -- and often, they don't shrink back. I so wish somebody had told me that before I dropped a small fortune on shoes before we conceived. Fortunately, a small-footed friend whose extremities swelled up to my old, pre-pregnancy size was delighted to get my nearly-new castoffs.
Find consignment stores
As I mentioned, I live in a place where fashionably dressed women pay $2,500 for a foreign-made stroller, $800 for crib sets with silk dust ruffles and $149 for a newborn's sleeper. But
Given what your kid will do to them in short order, it may be the last time they look so good.
Keep receipts, and don't wash new items right away
In a nesting frenzy, I did what I thought you were supposed to do, which is launder everything that might come in contact with baby's skin. More experienced mothers later told me it's smart to wash only a few of your newborn items, since the baby is likely to quickly outgrow them and you can take the still-packaged ones back to the store for a refund.
Oops. I did the same thing by laundering the crib bedding, only to completely change my mind on the color and style I wanted for the linens and dust ruffle. I claim temporary hormonal madness, but the crib really does look cute now.
Expect a few splurges
On a related note, it's not just the mother-to-be who can wreak havoc on a budget. The daddy-in-training can also lose his mind occasionally, as mine did one fine autumn day when we were visiting
We did build some parental splurges into our budget -- including a few more dinners and movies out, in anticipation of the confinement ahead, and pregnancy massages, which I'm convinced made the aches of my expanding body more bearable. If these luxuries aren't within reach, at least make sure you make some nice dinners for each other at home, and learn a few massage techniques before the baby arrives. We've heard the latter come in quite handy in the labor room -- and beyond.